Why am I Here?

This question has come to me many times in my life, and for many different occasions. For instance, I ask this question now as I type this "story" of mine for all to take in. "Should I even be here?...Do I belong here? and if not, where do I belong?" I came across this site in the midst of searching for an answer, a "quick-fix". I was hoping to stumble upon something that could help me take action to "save my own life," as opposed to the latter. I'm not going to tell you about the many things that have occurred in my life that may or may not have contributed to the way I have been feeling this year; this feeling that has visited me since the time I was 13. 13 was when I began to self-harm and seriously consider not being 'here' anymore. Today, I wrestled with the feeling of returning to those habits...in hopes that it would help me feel better and just release what has been building up. The thing is, I knew it wouldn't. It would only drag me further down into a hole that I'm not sure I want to ever go down. So that brings me to now. I'm here, choosing to "save my own life," because Lord knows, no one else will do it for me. Besides, writing has always been a pain-reliever and a friend. I'm hoping this helps not only me, but those of you reading this and thinking, "I know exactly how you fucking feel."


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