I am mj

I never really have a break from the noise and the chaos almost two years ago a lifetime of abuse and being bullied came to a head when my mother murdered my oldest child and then took her own life I cannot seem to make any sense of it I think I have gone completely crazy seeing signs from the universe and everything I had kept being told that I was "bat sh#*" crazy but it wasn't until the look of sheer horror on an ex boyfriend's face as i explained to him what I was seeing and hearing it was then that I knew I must never ever speak of any of it having already been thrown away by my family I felt outcast enough and didn't wAnt to be alone in the world I was separated from an abusive husband and after the murder decided enough was enough no one gets to abuse me further kind of sad that it took that for me to make that decision but you know what I told people was truth any bad thing they have to say to me well my words to my self were way more harsh but its not as though i didnt deserve it I am responsible for the murder of a young special needs girl and I don't know if I Will ever atone for tbat but but in the last four months with my spiral b family I have made steps forward and for m me he acceptance love and family is what has made all the difference well that and me finally being able to trust completely and blindly it was liberating like walking out of jail after a month scary yet beautiful my personality and crazy still seems to scare people and I still get funny looks however I believe in myself even if just aa tiny bit and for today that's enough

Showing 3 reactions

Donate Find an Event


get updates